To over-function is to do for others what they can and should do for themselves. If you are in the habit of doing this, you will inhibit those those you do it for from maturing and growing themselves. Love doesn’t just “do,” it also “does not.” You don’t love well when you are over-functioning. Why do we over-function? Mostly because it makes us feel good about ourselves, and feeds our ego. But it doesn’t help others, so its actually selfish.
I hope this short 2 minute video will help you and set you on a journey of freedom from over-functioning. watch it here
By the way, this is also so true for biblical discipleship. It’s good to teach and be taught, but the objective of teaching and being taught is to get you to a place of being a “self-feeder.” This is maturity. Learning to feed yourself. This should be the objective of discipleship: Not to keep the person dependant on you, always coming back for your wisdom, but to get them to find their own answers and wisdom in the Scripture from the Lord. So in discipleship, STOP over-functioning! Don’t read the bible for people, teach them to read it for themselves, etc.
Remember: To love well is to live well…
Follow my “The Art of Loving Well” here